Soul speak - A short story

I am at a wedding draped in my best yellow kancheepuram sari feeling like a queen. An acquaintance walks up to me along with her baby for a causal chat. As her young son wriggled out of her embrace, she places her hand on my belly, just above my navel. She's touching my tummy with her cold hand and asking me, in a colder- made to sound -concerned voice, "Why aren't you pregnant yet?" I try hard to smile, break free from her touch, and head to the food table to fill … my empty plate.

Yeah I love children and definitely plan on having them. Maternal instinct is oozing out of my pores: I've infantilized my pets; I've got down on my hands and knees at the park with babies I barely know. My marriage is wonderful and solid, and we are both blessed with good health. I've been a nanny, a teacher, a youth-group leader. I've read umpteen books on childhood-development solely for the purpose of someday raising happy, balanced children. I have always looked forward to becoming a mother.

So why don't I have kids or even the inkling right now? It's because of you. Yes, you: the fanatical mothers of the world. It may seem like ages ago now, but you weren't always like this. If you want me to join your ‘ranks’—and you've made it clear with your cold, clammy hands on my stomach that recruiting my uterus is of paramount importance to you—I need to set some ground rules.

First, please stop asking me when I'm going to get pregnant. For all you know, I cannot have kids. For all I know, I cannot have kids, as I have not yet tried. But imagine how painful this line of interrogation would be if I had submitted to all kinds of procedures, only to come up empty-wombed. It would be emotionally devastating. Yet ever since the day after my wedding, I have fielded this question from the eye doctor, the dental assistant, my yoga teacher, the lady at the grocery store. All of them feel entitled to ask. Don't. It's none of your business.

Next, don't completely abandon your own life and passions. You're setting a bad example for aspiring mothers-to-be like me. I recently expressed my happiness over an achievement I had at work to a mother-friend of mine. She said, dripping with condescension, "Well, you don't know happiness until you’ve delivered a baby.”That's very possible, but don't rain on my parade. I happen to love my job. It fulfills me in ways no other person—even a child—could. I learned through my own mother's example that the best lesson you can teach your kids is to pursue their passions. It's not selfish to have your own life. In fact, it's selfish not to.

Becoming a parent was your decision, and I am thrilled for you. All I'm asking is that you let me make that choice in my own time. And keep your hands off my belly.

tête-à-tête

An interesting Green tea brew pot

I am unaware when a casual connection developed into sort of an obsession. Now I like it hot…I like it cold….I like it strong…I like light….My mornings seems so lack luster without indulging in it…

Yeah…My…cuppa Green tea…the panacea for all my troubles….the nectar of life…I am lost without it…

While in Korea, it helped me survive 5 days of near-foodlessness (yeah this word is a noun that has been listed in the online-dictionary). It got me rejuvenated through a grilling work schedule in Bangkok. It stood steadfast by side during my endeavor to do away with 10 kilos of my weight. Not to mention, it helped me regain my near-flawless complexion…(egotism again!)

Mention of green tea has evoked mixed reactions from people around me…. S (a friend who frequents countries which one rarely hears of in the News like Malta and Cameroon) detests it; in fact of late he’s nearly stopped visiting us for the fear of compulsion of being a party to my tea-ceremony at midnight (His flights are always scheduled at unearthly hours!)….C calls it Cat-urine….N equates it to poison (it’s a different story he’s barely tasted it!)… A is an awe of it… P likes it for its quality of not leaving an after-taste in your mouth….R swears by it… in fact she’s stopped all other forms of caffeine intake ever since she’s discovered the ‘Truth of Life’.

The Art of Brewing –

Water – Quality and temperature - Good quality water is critical for making a good cup of green tea. I like my Green tea best using Bisleri mineral water. The brewing temperature is well dependant on the kind of green tea… However as a generalization, its best to brew it around 73-76 degrees celcius. Now I don’t mean to make this sound like a chemistry experiment. It’s the time when water just begins to boil and you can hear the hot water sizzzzzzzlle in the pot…

Perfect Proportion of green tea to water - Most green teas are brewed at 1 heaping teaspoon (5 grams) for a cup of water…

Brew time - Generally, two minutes is all it takes Any longer, and the taste may become too bitter. Also, it's very important to NOT stir, shake, or mix the tea.

Brewing pot – The Japanese believe that different types of green teas get their flavor when brewed in appropriate brewing pots. I am not advocating any such thing…its important however that the brewing pot/kettle is mouthed suitably that one can close it with a lid…making sure that the aroma does not waft away.

Studies have linked green tea consumption to reduced mortality from cardiovascular conditions... reduced menopause complicatoins and the like...Well..I am not trying to position it as the new-age cure for cancer or AIDS….Just that…a perfectly brewed cuppa Green tea helps me spring back to action after a longggggg day at work…. a tiring work out at the gym…. a patience testing time with my coochie-boo…

Cant thank the Chinese and Japanese enough for discovering and sharing with the world the miracle mood booster….:-)

PS: In the Indian scenario, it isn’t easy to lay your hands on the right green tea powder. Priced exorbitantly compared to good green teas available in Bangkok, Earl Grey’s green tea would be my best bet.